prehistorian:

stop for a minute and realize you are a 10lb brain piloting a slab of meat

716,012 notes

highdeans:

STOP SPELLING CAS WITH TWO S’S 2K14

1,367 notes

lizthefangirl:

when you re-read a book and realize you skipped over an important sentence the first time you read it

image

132,014 notes

ivyinspired:

this accurately represents my class participation

  • me: whats your opinion on tampons
  • little brother: they're little fuzzy sticks on strings
  • me: then you are ultimately more mature than most boys
  • little brother: why
  • me: for some reason tampons are gross and taboo just cuz they go in a vagina
  • little brother: well so does a penis and boys never stop talking about those
  • me:
  • little brother:
  • me: that is a fantastic point
641,961 notes

supernatural-tardis:

i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him Β this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

131,707 notes

eggito:

eggito:

me: hey accept me into your school

college: whats ur gpa

me: 4.20

college: youre in

it just struck me that a 4.20 is actually a really good gpa and a lot of colleges would probably accept u for it

126,155 notes

mrmeriwether:

yeahbanero-bells:

wolvensnothere:

Whoa.

I read this out loud to boyfriend and he just went β€œohhhhhhhhh” 

CEOs all runnin around terrified of blue shells from the homeless

elysedc:

The ultimate dad joke compilation

alyssabethancourt:

waitwhendidjohnbecomeagirl:

thisisthatchick:

SCHOOL WAS CANCELED BECAUSE OF FLOODING AND HERE ARE SOME GEMS I FOUND

I’m actually in tears right now oh my fuck

This is really a thing that happened. I know. I was there.

communistbakery:

stop-otp-stop:

communistbakery:

it’s 2013 why hasn’t a bank had the slogan β€œit’s common cents” yet

i say we demand change

I have to give you credit for that one

301,725 notes